🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?